Healing The Soul Of Your Family

The soul of your family is precious and unique. 

Much like a gemstone, no two will ever be the same. It’s the pressure and intensity of all involved that helps to create the multi-faceted end result.

It’s this very essence that drew you to your birth family in the first place.

However, as we evolve, it’s important to recognise the reason we chose our birth family.

As much as my heart would like to say it’s purely love that draws us to our family, there are so many more layers involved.

Before entering the physical world, our soul may still be in the midst of lessons and karma from previous lives or have new ones we’re ready to embark on. This is where our soul contract with our birth family stems from.

It’s an exchange of energy by way of fulfilling different roles and functions for one another. By doing this, we create shared learning experiences for each other.

Unfortunately, though these contracts aren’t always positive. In fact, they’re designed to create challenges that will help us grow on a soul level. The whole point of these contracts are to provide lessons that we can integrate and take forward with us.

I have to say I’m so grateful for the lessons I have learnt from my birth family. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without those lessons. 

Undoubtedly you will have more than just one soul contract when you come into the world. Some will be new, while others will be continued from past lives you didn’t complete. 

The primary purpose of these contracts, as well as keeping order between souls, is personal accountability.  They keep us honest on our journey and ensure we do what we say we intend to do. 

They’re meant to encourage our personal progress.

Because the fulfilment of soul contracts is ultimately how we raise our vibration, the more wisdom we learn from these lessons, the broader we grow our bandwidth which enables us to act from our highest intent.

I know that can be a lot to take in, which is why I mention it at this time of the year. 

Family gatherings like Christmas can put many of us into a spin as we begin to feel the deep dread and apprehension that comes with family.

Below are some tips and hints that you may like to try before the holiday season begins. 

And if you do feel this way, please remember these are lessons to help you grow. With a little (or in some cases A LOT) of work on your behalf and some time, it is possible to look forward to coming together.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU RECOGNISE A TOXIC FAMILY RELATIONSHIP

Toxic relationships within the family can have a major impact on your overall well-being.

But I have to say, just because you have identified a toxic relationship, that doesn’t mean you should give up on that person.

There are many things you can do to make a toxic family member more tolerable, but the most important thing to do is heal the pain within yourself first. 

Christmas is the time of the year when magic is in the air. It’s a time when families (if they’re willing) can repair the wounds of the past. 

If you feel this is a possibility, I have listed below a process to help you get started. 

However, if you feel your health is suffering and you can no longer interact with them anymore the best solution will be to remove them from your life (even if it’s only for a short time).

It’s not always an easy task, but if the situation has escalated to a point where it has become impossible for you to be happy, then you need to put yourself first and eliminate that person from your life.

No matter how beneficial removing this person from your life might be, there will still be feelings of guilt, loss, pain, and doubt about the decision.

These are emotions that you need to be willing to address to truly free yourself from the energetic pull of this conflict. 

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to experience the pain to know when to protect ourselves and help us grow. 

Let your body be your guide, if it doesn’t feel right, you’ll know. 

Remember, it’s up to you to take care of yourself! 

STEPS TO HEAL THE FAMILY WOUNDS WITHIN YOU

Firstly, you must do this process purely for yourself not for the family member you have a conflict with.

You need to come from an understanding of your own trauma from as far back as your childhood right through to today before you bring others in.

Find a nice quiet spot and make sure to allow yourself plenty of time. You don’t want to feel rushed.

Start by feeling into the heaviness that resides in your heart, picture the little girl/boy that the pain belongs to.  

Invite her to sit with you and let her know she is safe. Shower her with love and kindness and let her know that you are with her every step of the way for as long as she needs. You have a lifetime of love just for her.

Allow your heart to overflow into her heart, show her how opening her heart and expressing her feelings will help to release that pain and torment that she is carrying. Be the witness to her pain (the pain you felt as a child).

Let her know that, no matter what happened, it’s safe for that piece of her soul to come back and be whole again.

Once you both feel safe, start to feel into the unresolved energy that exists in your body. Feel into the part of you that feels uncomfortable or is drawing your attention to it. Sit with that part of your body and draw your breath to that spot.

If any emotions or memories start to surface, allow yourself to feel them and express them out loud. This is where the emotion became trapped in your body. Continue, sitting with that, allow yourself to feel whatever is coming up. Your body needs you to feel this so you can help it to be shifted and released.

Once you can feel the release you need to then fill that space with love and compassion and gratitude for what it allowed you to learn. Draw your nervous system into the space and allow your entire body to integrate. If you aren’t sure how to bring your nervous system in, just acknowledge its presence.

You may find you have many of these moments. This is how transformation begins. 

These are tender times. Be patient and be loving.

HOW TO HEAL THE FAMILY WOUNDS WITHIN A FAMILY MEMBER

You should only work within your family’s collective energy if you have first already done the deep energetic work within your own body.

To do this you need to have a complete understanding of your own sovereign field before introducing others' energy into this space. 

Once you have given yourself the time and space to connect with your inner child and you are feeling less fractured and you have allowed those fractured pieces of your soul to return to you, take the time to do the same with the family member you have a conflict with.

See your family member as they were when they were a child. If it is a sibling, then take yourself back to a time when you were both children, try to leave your emotion out of it (for the moment) and see if you can feel how they felt. 

Try to understand how certain issues that affected you, may have affected them.

Go through the same process with them, as you did with yourself (refer to my previous segment).

After you have completed that process, the next energy that you need to weave into the field is compassion, understanding and love.  

Energetically releasing the resentment and anger that may be connecting you both to the past and replacing it with unconditional love, for both these children you hold in your circle. 

Repairing and releasing the trauma from a past fracture will allow the energy to ripple out to today's reality. 

As you can see, this can go as deep or as shallow as you’re prepared to go. But once you start, you’ll get a much better understanding of where both your energies are coming from, with the issues you have today.

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