Healing Our Abandonment Wounds
The abandonment wound is a deep core trauma that impacts us not only on a human level, but also on a soul level. Healing this wound is one of the greatest tasks your soul came here to accomplish.
Unhealed trauma is really the only thing that separates us from love. It’s this trauma that keeps us trapped in the fear-based ego mind.
This applies not only for us as individuals, but also for us as a collective.
Part of our soul journey here on earth is to see our true selves and how we are connected beyond the ego. We set out on a journey to find our light in the darkness, and become conscious in an unconscious world.
Right now, there is a massive awakening happening to humanity. We are being called to heal our deepest wounds to create space for our souls to integrate with our mind and body.
We are all being called to dive deep into the ‘darkness’ of your inner world to heal.
We are strong enough to feel, deal, and heal all of the dense energy that keeps us trapped in the low vibrations of fear and control. Deep down, we all know this to be the absolute truth.
To truly heal the abandonment wound we need to open our mind to the bigger picture, and illuminate the light behind the lies, by allowing our heart to see the real reason for your pain and trauma.
Our souls are on a mission to expand in love.
Your higher self desires to bring consciousness into the lower vibrational frequencies within this dimension. The way we do this is through healing our trauma.
We do this by transmuting our darkness into light with understanding, love and compassion. Draw the light into the experiences that brought you the most pain and suffering in your life.
SHINING YOUR LIGHT ON YOUR ABANDONMENT WOUND
Your Soul is calling you to shine a light on the parts of yourself you keep hidden away in shame and fear. The parts of yourself that you have abandoned.
Before you were even born, your higher self chose to have your human self take on many specific challenges in your early life to help your soul evolve, including healing through the abandonment wound. It chose to have you experience the challenges as a child so that the ‘lessons’ would be hidden deep in your subconscious mind. This allows you to get ‘lost’ and then ‘find’ yourself again.
As a child, your view was limited. You could not see or understand that your parents or important adults in your life were also dealing with their own unresolved traumas.
Your child self believed that everything they said and did was an absolute reflection of you and your worth. You integrated everything from them; the good and the bad. This created the lens that you have for yourself and the world now.
If you felt that they didn’t accept you for who you were just by being you; you might have believed that who you were wasn't good enough.
When they didn’t see you, understand you, or care for you the way you needed them to; you might have believed that you weren’t important enough.
If they didn’t love you the way you wanted and deserved to be loved, you might have believed that you weren’t worthy of love.
It’s in our human nature to do whatever it takes to survive. On some level, as a child, we know that we need to be loved and cared for to survive. Out of instinct, you chose to believe these lies, rejecting and abandoning your true self in a desperate attempt to be loved.
And so begins the journey of getting lost to rediscover yourself through healing the origins of your abandonment wound.
ABANDONMENT WOUND ORIGIN
The depth of the abandonment wound pain varies between individuals and can look different for each person. Be patient in your own healing process and keep in mind; the deeper the hurt you experienced, the more potential space you hold for healing and soulful expansion.
The first step in healing the abandonment wound is to become conscious of the wound and recognise how it impacts your life. So many situations and experiences can cause us to ‘self-abandon’.
Here is a list of how the abandonment wound can be inflicted in childhood.
Being raised by emotionally or physically unavailable parents who likely have abandonment wounds themselves
If you were physically or emotionally abandoned by a parent or other important adult in your life
Emotional, sexual, physical abuse or neglect
Rejection or isolation from your peers
If you had one or more alcoholic or drug-dependent parents
Experiencing your parents get a divorce or separation
If you were put up for adoption
If you had a parent or other important caregiver die
On a spiritual and energetic level, without healing your deep inner abandonment wounds, your energy field is kept in a constant vibrational frequency of ‘survival’. The weight of old trauma, fear, and unresolved pain is dense, stagnant, and heavy.
Trapped trauma literally and figuratively weighs you down. It keeps you stuck and prevents you from living the life you are destined to live.
There is strength, love, and power flowing through every single one of us.
Your intuition is always trying to communicate this with you. When your true self is clouded with external influences such as the energy from others, pain from the past, and the belief that you are ‘not enough’, your intuitive healing gifts cannot shine through.
VISUALISE YOUR INNER LIGHT LIKE THE SUN
When the sun isn’t shining because there are dark clouds in the sky, we don’t question if the sun is or isn’t there. We know the sun is hidden behind the clouds.
The only difference between your inner light and the light of the sun is that you are the creator of your Universe, so you get to decide when the sun will shine.
You have the power to clear the storm within you by healing your abandonment wounds.
Most of us don’t think about ourselves or healing in this way. We have been disempowered and conditioned to believe we must protect our energy. We live in a state of protection rather than knowing we have the strength to feel into the pain and heal it. This “protective” energy can show up in our lives in many self-destructive and damaging ways.
Here are a few examples:
Self-sabotaging yourself or your relationships to keep yourself “safe” from feeling your true emotions: growth in relationships, with ourselves and others, will trigger us to face our inner abandonment wounds so we can heal through them.
Developing addictions looking for an ‘escape’: drugs, sex, food, dieting, alcohol, fitness, work, social media, technology.
Perfectionism: striving for everything to be ‘perfect’ as it gives you a false sense of security of being “in control” even if only temporarily.
Communication blocks: you may find it difficult to express yourself with clarity and conviction, or you are unable to find your voice at all.
Emotional withdrawal: you may shut down, react impulsively, or withdraw from situations that trigger ‘unpleasant’ emotions such as sadness, anger, and disappointment.
Unconsciously or consciously denying yourself of your true desires: going along with what somebody else wants instead of expressing what you really want or believe.
Unhealthy conflict resolution in relationships: when you carry many unresolved conflicts within your own energy, it makes it more difficult to resolve conflicts in your interpersonal relationships.
Rejecting your ‘shadow’ self: you unconsciously deny the ‘undesirable’ traits or parts of yourself, instead, you may project them onto others.
Rejecting healthy partners: out of fear of the unknown, healthy relationships may feel uncomfortable because they are unfamiliar and lack the toxicity that feels exciting.
Confusing longing for love or developing an addiction to toxic or unavailable love: as your brain was being developed, you may have been longing for the unavailable love from a primary caregiver which created your deep core beliefs around human connection and love.
Co-dependency: at the expense of your own mental, emotional or spiritual well-being, you may find a sense of purpose and an escape from your pain by attempting to fix and heal everyone else’s problems.
PAIN IS OUR INVITATION TO HEAL
As part of the human journey, we are repeatedly presented with opportunities to revisit our core wounds from a greater perspective. From a human lens, it may appear that people are making the ‘same mistakes’ or picking the same ‘toxic’ partners. On a soul level, this repetitive cycle is an invitation and opportunity to move inward and heal the wound.
Simply choosing to accept the invitation to start healing will shift your energetic vibration into a higher frequency, beginning the process of coming back to your true self.
Healing this deep soul-level wound will elevate your energy into the vibration of thriving rather than surviving. As part of healing, you must open yourself up to seeing all the fragmented pieces that you have unconsciously made “separate” from you out of fear, rejection, or shame.
Reflect on your Relationships with your Parents - Our parents were our first ‘idols’. We looked up to them. Depended on them for survival. And whether it served us or not, we learned what we know about life and love from them. Journal Prompts: What do you love about your mother/father/caregiver? Do you see any of these qualities in yourself? What are the things you don’t like? Do you see any of these qualities in yourself?
Reflect on Your Romantic Relationships - As an invitation for healing, our romantic relationships often mirror to us the unhealed trauma we’ve been holding onto from our childhood. Journal Prompts: What are the things you love about your current/previous partners? What were the things you didn’t like? Do you see any of these qualities in yourself? Were there any parts of the relationship that you could consider unhealthy? Are there any ways you might have been showing up in an unhealthy or low vibrational way?
Connect with your Inner Child - The inner child within you needs to be seen, heard and loved in a way that only you can see, hear and love them. Practice: Sit with your eyes closed, and think back to an experience in your childhood that was difficult for you. Invite this version of your childhood self to communicate with you. Imagine yourself holding them, or sitting face to face to show them you are listening. Journal Prompts: What does my inner child want to tell me? What does my inner child want to hear? How can I help my inner child feel safe and loved? How will I know my inner child is needing my attention?
Practice Mindfulness and Meditation - We can only receive guidance from our highest selves when we are present and flowing. The past is an important part of our lessons here on earth. Integrating these experiences into the present is where we find the wisdom to move forward. Breathe and be. Calm the mind, and your soul will speak.
Practice Universal Love, Self-Love and Compassion - The highest frequencies of universal, unconditional love begin from the love of self. To love yourself is to transcend into the higher vibrations of love, light and healing. At the beginning of your healing journey, especially when facing your shadow self, it’s natural to want to reject or judge. Have patience, and ask your higher self for strength. The energy of compassion, love, forgiveness and acceptance is what will shine a light to dissolve shame and fear. To love yourself unconditionally is to love all of you, the light and the dark.
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