Energetic Boundaries & Why We Need Them

Life is all about experiencing a full range of emotions and, at some point, we will all come across issues with people that feel like a boundary has been crossed or even as if your energy has been downgraded.  It may not seem like much in the beginning, but before you know it, your energy field becomes porous and you are left feeling depleted, resentful, or taken advantage of.

Whether it's giving too much to others and feeling resentful, or needing too much from others and losing our sense of self, or shutting others out altogether, boundary setting is something we are all constantly experiencing.  The beauty of these experiences is, it gives us the opportunity for growth.

The phrase ‘setting boundaries’ has never truly resonated with me, I have always felt more comfortable allowing my values, morals and soul to determine who I allow to play a part in my life.  But feeling into my body and the energetic vibrations that surround those words, shows they still do represent a boundary, but more of a soulful energetic one. 

Depending on your level of understanding around energy, and depending on your sensitivity you may feel the need to put more energy into creating your boundaries.  Sensitive and Empathic people are definitely souls who would benefit from setting boundaries, as they are able to feel the full range of emotions of those around them.  Also, keep this in mind for children that may not yet be able to articulate that they are feeling other people's emotions.  

For children, I like to have them imagine an invisible bubble of healing light surrounding them.  This can be any colour they like that makes them feel safe.  Have them picture this bubble full of all the things that lift them up, like rainbows, sunshine, jumping in puddles and have them fill this bubble up with how all these things make them feel. Have them truly experience those uplifting and joyous emotions.  Let them know that this bubble can grow as big as they desire and the more energy of love, laughter and happiness they fill it with, the bigger it will become.  This is their safe place.

Once you feel like those around you aren’t there to attack you, start picturing the colour as energy and rather than keeping an invisible wall up for protection allow your energy to be the barrier.  Know that when your energy is in alignment with your soul, your energy is impenetrable and you can co-create in harmony with the collective.

To help you better understand the person you may be dealing with, pop over to my article on how family trauma affects our health. Even if it isn’t a family member you’re experiencing boundary issues with, it may help you to recognise a characteristic of this person as well as some physical symptoms you may be experiencing because of this.

HONOURING YOUR WORTH

Empower yourself by acknowledging that you are a sacred soul worth honouring.  Know that your energy field and the essence of who you truly are deserves nothing less than pure alignment.  Honouring my authentic soul is how I have created an energetic field that flexes with my energy and the planet.  In reality, this can be looked at as a boundary, yet it feels so much richer.

A dear friend once said to me ‘you don’t realise how much you need boundaries until someone has overstepped’ and that is so true.

So what happens when you feel like you have no control over the people who play a part in your life?  Perhaps it’s an annoying sibling or your boss or co-worker, this is when boundaries play a massive part in allowing you to remain your authentic self, while not permitting other people to disrespect or unsettle you.

It doesn’t matter what relationships you’re in, whether it’s with your children, co-workers, lover, family, strangers, or friends, boundaries allow you to be in control of the energy that comes into your personal space.

Boundaries will help you create the life you desire, the life that feels comfortable to you, even if everything else in the world around you may seem chaotic.

So what exactly are boundaries? In short, it’s establishing what you are and aren’t willing to accept.  It’s about recognising what you feel morally, ethically, and energetically and what you prefer to surround yourself with. 

Individuals with a clear sense of energetic boundaries will have a much better understanding of who they truly are, their identity, and their self-worth. 

Being part of any relationship requires mutual respect and understanding, it’s about supporting each other to allow both individuals to embrace their own authenticity.

Without having boundaries in place, you may find your energies can merge and without even realising it, you may have allowed the other person to take away your power, leaving you feeling a little lost or disorientated.  

Awareness is the first step in acknowledging what is happening and allowing yourself to take control of the situation.  Self-empowerment is about owning what is yours and refusing to let someone else's beliefs blur what you hold as true to you. 

SACRED INTIMACY WITH YOURSELF AND THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU

When we have a strong sense of our self-value and worth, we can appreciate and respect qualities in those around us. When two people come together with a clear definition of their boundaries, the potential for intimacy and commitment is great. 

This is when differences can then be used as an opportunity for growth, excitement, and alluring mystery.  Seeing the gift in a situation and allowing two people to create the change together is what intimacy is all about.  And please don’t think I am only referring to physical intimacy.  The more you allow another soul into co-creation and collaboration with you, the more intimate your energy becomes.

However, we must also acknowledge that while past issues may have helped one person evolve and grow, they may also have formed wounds within others.  

Recognising someone's response is triggered by their wounds, is powerful, it allows you to understand the pain they hold, but when you do recognise this in someone you must also not make excuses for their actions.  This is where it becomes important to enforce your boundaries instead of allowing others to overstep and diminish yours.

This is why my journey has brought me back to boundaries.  I feel I have created a life that is mostly full of souls I hold a deep intimacy with.  Pain or wounds behind a person's response or reaction is usually illuminated, yet of late, I have allowed myself to make exceptions and excuses for one person in particular.  Unfortunately, upon doing this, I haven’t allowed that person to experience the growth this wound is presenting to them.

This part of my journey is to recognise that we can only help those who are ready to create the desired change.  We have to allow each soul to evolve at its own rate and part of that evolution is holding people accountable for their actions. You can put endless energy into helping someone, but if they aren’t ready or they don’t recognise what you have been trying to do, you can start to feel resentful.  They may not appreciate you at that moment, but one day they may see the gift you were trying to present to them.  

This is when you need to realise it wasn’t your journey and it’s time to take a step back.  Most likely boundaries have become blurred and you may have started to give your power away.  This is when it’s time to re-evaluate how you have allowed this to affect you and your energetic boundaries.

RECOGNISING A PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO YOUR BOUNDARIES BEING OVERSTEPPED

Do you know how your body reacts when boundaries have been crossed?  Do you feel it in your gut?  Does your entire body shake?  Does your heart race?  Do you feel physically exhausted and feel like you just can’t do anything?  These are all telltale signs that someone has crossed a boundary or that your energy field may have become porous and you have allowed another person's energy to enter your field.

Recently I experienced all of these physical responses and it was like alarm bells going off.  My body was literally screaming at me.  When you recognise these things please allow yourself some space, and when you have a moment to yourself, remember to praise yourself for your awareness.  Acknowledge your growth, because perhaps a few months ago or a couple of years ago, you would have just persisted with the situation.  Now you have a set point that your body has shown you is not acceptable.  Below are a few questions to ask yourself to help with your own self-awareness:

Do you struggle with any of the following?:

• You find it hard to say ‘No’ even when you want to.

• You feel like people take advantage of you to get what they want.

• You feel selfish doing what’s best for you.

• You allow other people to decide how you spend your time, money, and energy.

• You fear disappointing others.

• You are a people pleaser.

If you’re anything like me, you answered ‘Yes’  to one or more of these questions? 

Please don’t beat yourself up about it, awareness and acknowledgement are the keys to creating change.  Feel into what your body needs, to create a sustainable shift that will allow you to embrace yourself with complete sovereignty.

For more information or tips on how to help yourself through challenging times, please check out my full range of articles on my website.  Or if you feel you would like to chat please book in for a free 30 minute discovery call.

PIN FOR LATER