The Sacred Dance Between The Masculine & Feminine

If you’re anything like I have been throughout my life, the sacred dance of your masculine and feminine, is more like, take your corners and let the battle of the sexes begin. Up until about 5 years ago that’s exactly how my internal energies played out, so much so that I could literally hear playing in my head ‘let's get ready to rumble’.

My struggle between the male and female energy was alive and very real, as I believe it is for many. I was raised to believe that nothing good could come from embracing the feminine, it was weak and too emotional and you would never get anywhere in life if you didn’t conform to what society deemed appropriate. 

However, as I started to mature and take on my own views of the world, I began to rebel against everything my family had taught me, because it had never felt right.  This unfortunately, led me too far in the opposite direction, and I felt all masculine energy was negative.

Now I stand here as a sovereign woman in all her power and I can see the immaturity of the young girl/woman who was struggling to find herself in a world that was completely opposite to her own beliefs.  

Regardless of our gender or the gender we identify with, we are all made up of masculine and feminine energies. They nourish each other, it’s part of the duality that makes everything in our world. 

Over the years, the feminine has been disrespected, dishonoured and dominated by the wounded masculine and the patriarchy. The world has fallen out of its natural balance.  And for many years I blamed the masculine, now I see they are just as wounded as the feminine.

We all need to take responsibility and look at the different energies that flow within us and try to balance them by reintegrating and embodying both the sacred masculine and feminine.  There is so much to learn from both when they are in their true form.

Both masculine and feminine energies have an unhealthy, wounded aspect and a healthy, divine aspect. The wounded part of us comes from ego, something mankind knows all too well.  This is where fear and darkness comes from, which usually leads to pain.

It’s all about becoming aware of our unhealthy patterns (our wounded self) and facing them instead of ignoring them.  Once we do, we stop recreating the same patterns and we stop projecting them out onto others.  Ultimately this is how we heal our relationship with self and others.

ILLUMINATING THE WOUNDED & DIVINE ENERGY

When we start to illuminate these aspects of ourselves, we become more aware of what is unhealthy and wounded and we can heal and transform this into healthy and divine energy.  Below I have broken down qualities into masculine and feminine energy as opposed to male and female roles.  Step out of your head and into your body and allow yourself to feel into these qualities.  Perhaps even write down which aspects are strong and which you still need to work on.

The healthy divine masculine

• Is deeply present and listens without being distracted

• Has integrity and admires integrity in others

• Doesn't judge and is open to communication

• Is humble and loyal

• Creates a safe environment

• Is honest and accountable

• Doesn't take things personally

• Is supportive and encouraging

• Is disciplined and focused

• Is aligned with the highest good

• Is grounded and confident in self

• Respects the vulnerability and strengths of others

The unhealthy wounded masculine

• Is competitive and always needs to win

• Is focused on goals and attached to success

• Avoids connection and isn't in touch with emotions

• Can be cold, distant and even aggressive

• Takes everything personally

• Defends himself by attacking and accusing others

• Stays at a distance from love

• Is critical and judgmental

• Doesn't listen deeply to others

• Is stuck in the mind

• Is narcissistic and selfish

• Can form addictions easily

• Has unhealthy internal feminine who is serious, rigid and controlling

The healthy divine feminine

• Is loving, empathetic, compassionate and supportive

• Is grounded, receptive, reflective

• Is vulnerable yet has strong boundaries

• Is authentic therefore gracious in strength

• Knows how to ask for what is needed

• Is not afraid to speak from the heart and does so with no shame

• Flows through life effortlessly

• Knows how to surrender, be open and trusting

• Is naturally intuitive and listens to her heart rather than her mind

• Manifests and creates

• Is confident in her body and with her femininity.

• Exudes beautiful, sensual energy and attracts naturally,

The unhealthy wounded feminine

• Is usually insecure and looks for external validation

• Can be critical 

• Is needy in relationships, needs to feel loved and asks (begs) for it

• Can't control emotions

• Is afraid of loss and is very attached (in an unhealthy, excessive way)

• Shares emotions and needs for attention

• Is desperate for love and always chasing it

• Feels like a victim

• Sacrifices self and prioritises others at own expense

• Tends to be manipulative

• Can come across as inauthentic

• Has an unhealthy internal masculine, no boundaries or self control

We all have wounds that lead to unhealthy behaviours in both our masculine and feminine energy regardless of our gender.  Awareness is power.  This is a great tool for self-discovery, and once you have discovered the qualities that still hold wounding, it is a precious invitation to step deeper into the healing, so you can embody the healthy divine energy.

HONOURING BOTH the MASCULINE & FEMININE ENERGY within you

Men who neglect or ignore their feminine energy tend to have difficulty processing their emotions and relating emotionally in their relationships. Women often say their spouse is a wonderful provider, but his absence of emotions leaves them feeling distant and lonely.  

On the other hand, a man who is in touch with his masculine and feminine energies can be both strong and tender for his family. Real communication and deep intimacy can take place because he is able to share his emotions and be in touch with his partner’s emotional needs. In addition, a man's analytical abilities can be increased by learning to tap into his intuition.

Also, when men have issues expressing their emotions, the build up of unprocessed emotions can lead to very serious health problems. And men who only display their masculine traits can be much quicker to anger and prone to violence.

Women who do not honour their masculine energy can be hesitant to speak up for their needs and desires. Being too passive can lead to the feeling of helplessness. This can have a very negative impact upon intimacy in a relationship due to the resentment that may form and grow when one does not speak their truth with their partner. 

By tapping into her masculine energy, a woman can be more assertive and decisive. The key once again is to find a healthy balance between both the female and male energies. This is important both at home and in the workplace. 

In addition, a woman who is not willing to let go of control at home and give her man space to take the lead, deprives herself of the opportunity for him to take care of her. It’s important in today's society to respect our masculine and feminine roles and allow each other to exert what comes naturally to us.

Create the balance that is right for you

Honour and appreciate how each makes you more dimensional and helps you connect with others on a deeper, intimate level or on a more assertive level. Through awareness you can find a beautiful balance between both that will shift the world through your physical presence. 

We are all individual souls who are works in progress, our desire is to be seen, understood and cherished.  The more we learn about ourselves, the better we can relate to our loved ones, our friends, our co-workers and all those we come in contact with.

Embrace your masculine and your feminine energies. Honour how they work within you. Also find a partner who honours your energies and their own, someone who respects you as an equal and beautifully matches your energy. Together you can create the most beautiful sacred union (a twin flame) that creates the most amazing life.

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