Reclaiming The Innocence Of Your Inner Child
Our inner child is the part of us that has held onto our whimsical inquisitive nature from when we were little. It represents the innocent ‘you’ that entered this world all those years ago.
It is the truest and most authentic expression of our essence.
Our inner child carries tremendous wisdom but also profound pain.
Inner child work is the process of embodying, listening, nurturing, and healing our wounded self, so we can experience joy and freedom in all areas of life.
Sadly, as adults, very few of us are aware of the trauma of our inner child. We’re taught by society from a very young age that strength, motivation and dependability and so on, are crucial to getting ahead in this world, but unfortunately, we’re also taught that vulnerability and oversharing is a weakness that will hold us back.
Without understanding our vulnerability, we lose our compassion to nurture this sacred part of us. Instead, we live in a society that forces us to repress our inner child and grow up. But the truth is, trapping that part of us means we never fully live or grow up.
Many of us are quite simply a shell of an adult that never truly reached our emotional, psychological, or spiritual adulthood because we were disconnected from our inner child.
You see, we numb the loss of our innocence and the promise of possibilities with food, money, possessions, drugs, and relationships all in the hope of forgetting that pain.
But at the core of most addictions, no matter what the genetic factors, is the wounded inner child, who is in a constant state of craving and insatiable neediness.
Until we’re ready to face that pain, embrace and embody the trauma, and allow it to move through us to release it, we will never truly be free and never truly nurture and love that little boy or girl inside us.
This deep work will have a profound impact on your entire family.
By doing this work, you are not only helping yourself but also sending out ripples of change that will influence your entire family.
This is sacred work, and the impacts are very real. The change will ripple through your lineage and will traverse many generations.
HONOURING THE PAIN OUR INNER CHILD HOLDS
When we are alienated from the child within, we are left with a feeling that something is missing.
We long to feel whole.
We long to be at peace.
We long to overcome our issues.
Yet we keep repeating the same old mistakes and the same cycles of suffering over and over again.
This endless circle of pain leads to feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness, lethargy, emptiness, and an underlying sense of being abandoned by life.
We literally feel separated from the world.
Inner child work goes directly to the root of our pain – the pain that started in our childhood or teenage years.
We must honour the pain of our inner child for the lessons they have brought us.
I remember someone saying to me once, that they shouldn’t have to heal and be grateful for experiencing the painful lessons that someone else inflicted on them. And as much as I understood their emotion behind this comment, it showed me the level of compassion they were able to hold in their nervous system at that time.
The more you traverse your emotions, the more fluid your system becomes.
This work is a combination of self-love and shadow work, so it empowers us to dig deep, unearth our original wounds, face and feel our pain, and experience life through new eyes.
In fact, one of the most enchanting elements of inner child work is that we regain our zest, vitality, and joy for life once again.
Those that undertake inner child work report feeling more resilient, creative, energetic, spontaneous, blissful, hopeful, loving, and more deeply connected with their heart and Soul.
RE-PARENTING OUR INNER CHILD
When we love & nurture our wounded inner child through re-parenting, we are learning to love ourselves. Self-love or the lack of it is deeply connected to our neglected inner child.
Once we have taken a journey through time, back to our past and faced the wounds that have scarred us, it’s time to re-parent that part of us.
The wounds we have embodied and allowed to move through us must now be replaced with love and compassion. We must now fill this space and these cells with the nurturing we missed out on as a child.
Now I’m not saying by any means that your parents intended to hurt or neglect you, because as adults we understand that our parents did the best they could do with what they knew. But nevertheless, the neglect you felt and held in your cells is very real, and it’s up to you to infuse all the love, warmth, compassion, security, nurturing and anything else you may need into this space to allow your inner child to feel held, safe and loved.
This work comes from a deep desire to re-awaken our lost innocence. To heal and honour who you are as a Soul.
To make peace with your inner child, please repeat the following healing mantra:
Dearest inner child, I'm so sorry if you've felt ignored, abandoned, ridiculed, or denied in any way. I'm sorry that anyone has ever hurt you.
From this moment forward, I will carry you with me wherever we go, together as One, for the well-being and liberation of all.- Matt Kahn
Let your Divine inner parent cradle the fragile child within, with total self-acceptance.
It's okay to feel lost, broken, or scared. This is the true vulnerability of our inner child.
The remedy to all our pain, loneliness, anger, fear, and bitter suffering is to hold that vulnerable place within us with love and compassion.
For when you hold the hand of the child that lives in your soul, nothing is impossible.
PEELING BACK THE LAYERS OF NEGLECT
While we dive into our emotions of the past, it’s helpful to remember that while some, or many, of our problems may stem from childhood neglect, holding grudges and laying blame is counter productive.
Move through this process with love, understanding and compassion in your heart for those that hurt you. Most times pain comes from pain. If your parents weren’t equipped with the emotional understanding to honour you fully, it was probably because of their neglected upbringing.
Hold forgiveness in your heart while you venture down this path, for compassion will help to soothe your nervous system while you endure the emotions of the past.
Do any of these scenarios feel familiar?
You were punished when trying to speak up or act differently.
You weren’t given physical affection, e.g. hugs, kisses, cuddles.
You weren’t allowed to show strong emotions such as anger or joy.
You were shamed by your parents or family members.
You were taught that it’s not okay to have your own opinions.
You were discouraged from playing or having fun.
You were physically punished, e.g. smacked, beaten.
You weren’t allowed to be spontaneous.
You were verbally criticised and abused on a regular basis.
You were made to feel responsible for your parents and their level of happiness.
The above represent only a handful of ways different layers of neglect and abuse can be felt on an emotional, psychological and physical level.
Each one comes with its own set of scars and healing required.
As you can see, there are many levels of healing required to allow our inner child to feel nurtured and whole.
You can’t just say you’re going to heal your inner child and expect it to occur in one session; it takes time to allow your emotions to evolve and mature.
Remember the age you were when the trauma occurred, is the age your emotions were stunted, so allowing your emotions the time they need is crucial.
This work can be as deep or as shallow as you’re willing to go. Please reach out and book a discovery call if you feel you are ready to begin the healing.
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