Dealing With Anger Consciously

So what is anger really trying to tell us? 

Anger is one of the emotions we might try to ignore because of the pain that’s usually associated with it.

It takes time and understanding to learn how to feel our anger without going into the story.

And we all know how easy it is to get caught up in the story rather than just feeling the emotion that our body wants us to acknowledge.

Once we have, we can allow it to move through us until it no longer has a hold on us. 

We’ve all experienced anger to a certain degree. It’s a natural human emotion that is often misunderstood and considered taboo.

Anger is related to the fight, flight, or freeze response of the sympathetic nervous system; it prepares humans to fight.

There are many stereotypes associated with anger that are both negative and positive. 

When channelled the right way, anger can drive us to do amazing things.

We can achieve things that we may have never thought possible, sometimes just to prove doubters wrong. 

If you release anger the correct way, you can take flight.

Yet, if anger is not expressed in a healthy way you can shatter relationships. And if you aren’t careful, it can leave you stuck in the past, unable to break free.

Our anger is valid, it doesn’t deserve to be hidden. When we suppress anger for too long and too often, we get to a point where our anger spills out and causes harm.

It may feel good, in the moment, to rage at someone to release tension, but when we do, we often take out our anger on someone who doesn’t deserve our wrath! 

Prolonged anger and stress can wreak havoc on our bodies and health.

Anger is neither a good nor a bad thing, it all comes down to what you do with your anger. 

How does it fuel you to become better? 

Does your anger influence change? 

Is your productivity enhanced?

Whenever you feel anger, embrace it. 

Let it guide you to be the person you were born to be.

Don’t judge it.

And don’t judge yourself for being angry. 

LET ANGER BECOME YOUR FRIEND INSTEAD OF YOUR ENEMY

Allow yourself to feel it. Look at it a different way. You wouldn’t want someone judging you, so don’t judge yourself.

Confront it.

Once you find that anger has entered your body, confront what you are angry about. I know this may seem easier said than done.

Often, we’re angry at a certain thing but in reality, we’re actually angry at something entirely different.

If you haven’t dealt with a trauma that may have caused you to feel angry in the past, you’ll probably find you’re responding to a past trauma which is being impacted and triggered by a current situation. 

Anger has layers. Once we get down to the core reasons, we’re able to confront it.

If you’re angry at a person, then you can either confront that person or energetically deal with that person. I used to have to do it physically, now, I find energetically I am able to clear the emotion much more efficiently by myself. 

What many don’t realise is, just because you confront anger doesn’t mean it will go away, you need to work through that anger

Accept what you can control and let go of what you can’t. 

Letting go can take a very long time, trust me. It took many years to understand this. 

Practice letting go of the small things, one at a time, until you move on to the bigger things.

Be gentle with yourself, this could be a lifelong process. 

Meditate. 

This is an important tip.

Each course that I do, every quantum experience I amplify, each obstacle I tackle, I become more the person my soul wants me to be... My authentic self. 

And meditate some more. 

Anchor yourself in your body, allow your mind to release all control, and just feel. 

Let your body guide you on a journey of embodying the full emotion that you're holding on to. 

This is a safe place to allow any anger to be released. 

You don’t need to feel shame or guilt, any emotion that presents itself now will only bring healing. 

FOCUS YOUR ANGER INTO YOUR CRAFT

If you’re angry, put that energy into something creative.

We are creative creatures, The way we create varies differently from person to person.

It could be painting, designing, running your business or even just fixing up your house.

For me, it’s writing. 

I love to write. Writing has been my great escape and my safe haven for a few years now. It allows me to connect within and feel what is important, and it allows me to share my emotions and experiences to help others. 

After you're done, read whatever you write and release it. You can burn it or keep it with you until you’re ready to let go. 

Cry, scream, and yell in a safe place. 

Many people are ashamed of crying, but like anger, crying is neither a good nor a bad thing. 

Doing so doesn’t make you weak. Crying is a form of release. You don’t have to cry in front of people, you can cry by yourself.

Anger is not a negative emotion. We need to acknowledge that it’s not bad or wrong.

You are entitled to it and allowed to experience the emotion in full.

When it’s acknowledged in a healthy way, we can express our feelings without blame. 

Owning our feelings sometimes means we need to give ourselves some personal space to reflect and respect our feelings and be willing to admit mistakes.

If we don’t address our anger in a healthy way, the only other way it’s going to present itself is in an unhealthy way which can be aggressive and intimidating.

Sarcastic, hurtful comments leak out because you can’t truly say what you mean. 

This is because you haven’t given yourself the time to unpack the emotions underneath the anger.

So you end up focusing on making the other person wrong and avoiding accountability. 

A lot of this stems back to our childhood.

We’re taught at a young age not to be angry. 

We get told things like;

Be nice.

Always be helpful.

Do whatever is necessary to be liked.

Don't think of yourself, only think of others.

Now is the time to focus on you and how you can best serve yourself and others by finding ways to release your anger in a healthy, positive way. 

ANGER CAN BE A GIFT

Sooner or later, feelings of anger will get your attention. You may notice feeling more irritable or on edge. Please don’t ignore these feelings. They are pointing you towards what isn't working, or an aspect of your life that's out of whack. This is how anger is a gift to you.

Instead of judging yourself for feeling angry, look for why you're feeling that way. It's not because you're selfish or wrong. It's not silly. No matter what it is - you need to find out what's causing this anger.

Then you can take the necessary action you need to take care of the situation or make a different choice.

The differences between unhealthy and healthy anger

Do you do everything yourself and avoid asking for help?

Do you need to pay attention to emotions so they don’t build up?

Do you avoid admitting hurt or angry feelings?

Do you need to say no more often?

Do you ignore your own needs for the sake of others?

Do you go with the flow instead of speaking up?

When you find out why you're angry, you'll see what needs to change. Often, it's about setting healthy boundaries. If you don't want to do something, stop making yourself do it. 

Allow yourself to say no. Start expressing how you really feel. By honouring those feelings, they will point you in the right direction. 

Anger signals to you that something isn't right. 

Sometimes it's about needing to take care of yourself first. 

Make one small change towards better self-care and handling stress.

Get more sleep. 

Making time to relax and have fun is vital if you want to enjoy life.

Let your anger have a voice.

You may recognise anger as a pit in your stomach or a hesitation to move forward. 

Write it out for clarity. 

Over time you'll develop an intuitive sense when something is wrong.

Trust it.

Let anger be your guide instead of the enemy.

You deserve to enjoy your life.

Anger will guide you in the right direction if you take the time to listen.

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