The Simple Questions to Ask Yourself While Creating a Conscious Relationship

Great relationships uplift and empower you. 

They’re a place of refuge and nourishment, deep connection and understanding.

A conscious relationship is deeply fulfilling, ever expanding, filled with authentic love, respect, passion, connection, and intimacy. 

Conscious relationships continue to get better and better the more you get to know each other. 

However, they are not possible unless you have done the work you need to do on yourself first, in order to show up in all these ways.

So help your partner feel safe, seen, and heard.

A wonderful part of being in a relationship is having someone to lean on and have them as a support system.

In a conscious relationship, it’s important to prioritise seeing your partner for who they are and letting them be vulnerable with you.

Listen to them intently.

Allow them to unfold before you.

See them for their uniqueness.

Acknowledge the light and dark, and affirm that you love all of it.

And, lastly, make them feel safe. Part of a conscious relationship is to help your partner feel safe, as you are their support system. 

Offer them safety by creating a judgment-free zone, creating a sacred space where they can show up authentically, and showing them that they can count on you.

CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION

It’s not how much you share with your partner, or how often you talk to them - but your level of consciousness and self awareness when you do.

Are you communicating openly and honestly, having the difficult conversations when required?

Are you being accountable for the energy you bring into the relationship space, and making sure you don’t use it as a dumping ground?

Are you taking responsibility for your own triggers, and not expecting your partner to be responsible for past trauma which has nothing to do with them?

Are you communicating with kindness and respect, not burning up relationship currency with words you cannot take back?

Are you honouring of your partner’s space, and making requests not demands?

Are you communicating clearly with them what your needs are, and also asking about how you can honour theirs?

Are you bringing joy, fun, playfulness, and building sexual tension with your words?

This is conscious communication…

CONSCIOUS LISTENING

It’s not about listening to what your partner tells you throughout the day - but about really hearing what they are telling you.

Do you listen with the intent to reply, or to understand?

Do you tune in when they are sharing something with you, giving them your full attention?

Are you taking time to hear what is beneath the words they are sharing with you?

Can you hear the hurt, the pain, the frustration, the sadness below the surface?

Are you asking them how best you can support them in the moment, whether it be holding space, offering a solution, or giving your feedback?

Are you listening without interrupting, and not making their story about you?

This is conscious listening…

CONSCIOUS VISION

It’s not how often you look at your beloved - but the depth and presence you hold in your gaze when you do.

Are you looking deep into your partner’s eyes when they are in your presence?

Are you actually seeing them when you walk in the door, or are you focused on the thoughts racing around in your mind?

Are you noticing the little things about them, letting them know that you notice?

Do you make sure to hold their gaze across a crowded room, signalling that they are always on your radar?

Are your eyes taking in the love and appreciation they show you through the little gestures they make and things they do for you?

This is conscious vision…

CONSCIOUS TOUCH

It’s not where, or how often, you touch your lover - but your presence, energy, and attention when you do.

Are you touching them with reverence and love?

Are you tuning into the energy of their body, allowing your mind to quiet enough to hear what it is telling you?

Are you using your conscious touch as a form of communion between your bodies?

Are your eyes following your hands, looking on with awe at the gorgeous body being offered up just for you?

Are you feeling gratitude for the honour of this gift you are being given?

Are you focusing on the pleasure you bring by using different intensity and rhythm with your hands, your mouth, and your body?

This is conscious touch… 

PRACTICE BEING VULNERABLE 

Being vulnerable is a crucial part to any lasting relationship. It enables you to share your truth, create sacred space, and allow the other person to show up as their authentic self. 

Becoming vulnerable can be intimidating for those who are used to putting up walls or are avoidantly attached. But, like with anything on the spiritual journey, it can be done slowly to avoid overwhelm. 

Consider the following steps:

• Be mindful and practice staying in the present moment. Vulnerability often drags you out of the present to mull over the past or worry about the future.

• Stop yourself when you feel you’re pulling away. Sit with the uncomfortable feelings and ask where this stems from.

• Practice expressing your wants and needs. 

Vulnerability requires honesty.

Start with yourself, then work with others. 

You’ll hear this a lot during the self-love journey, “You need to love yourself before anyone else can love you.”

Everything in our life starts from within, as everything outside of us is simply a reflection of us.

So, when starting your journey to improve the way you accept love, begin by firstly working on how you accept love from yourself.

Journal Prompts:

• How often do you speak kindly about yourself?

• Do you prioritise self-love?

• Where does the rejection of receiving love stem from?

When you feel that you have a grasp of actively listening to your wants and needs, you can then begin working on accepting love from others.

Doing so, in this order, helps you to feel less overwhelmed and slowly get used to opening up.

Accepting love is a challenge for those who have been programmed to believe that they are not worthy.

But, with time and patience, you will begin to see changes in your life.

You will begin to let people in, feel comfortable expressing your needs, and overall feel more authentic.

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