Living Every Day For Your Authentic Self
In a world where society just wants us to fit in, be people pleasers and fly under the radar, I urge you to stand out and embrace your individuality and be exactly who you were born to be.
With everyone telling us who we should be, is it any wonder so many of us have no idea who we actually are.
We dim our light to fit in and be loved, but what we don’t realise is, we’re trying to fit in with the wrong people.
If we were surrounded by our soul family they’d be encouraging us to shine our light as bright as we could.
We’ve been conditioned by our families, culture and society to believe that it’s more important to be liked and to fit in than it is to be who we truly are.
That’s why we find it so hard to embrace our uniqueness.
That’s why it is so difficult to shine our light brightly and show everyone the perfectly imperfect person that we are.
How can you courageously and unapologetically be yourself?
That is the question we have to ask ourselves as we journey to living more closely in alignment with our personal truth.
It took me many years to unpack how to live in full alignment with my personal truth and to enjoy the freedom that came from embracing my authenticity in both my personal life and business.
One of the most powerful things we can do in life is to embrace who we are and be one hundred percent real and authentic.
It’s our greatest gift to both the world and ourselves.
But speaking from personal experience, it’s taken me many years to go from who my family and society told me I was - to who I believed I was - to the authentic woman that emerged in my mid to late forties.
It’s a journey that reveals itself bit by bit as we're ready to expand and grow.
FINDING MY AUTHENTIC PATH AND VOICE HAS BEEN QUITE A JOURNEY
I can guarantee I’m not alone when I say that I grew up being a people-pleaser.
You may relate.
Growing up, I was always someone who did whatever was needed to make everyone happy. I believed that’s what I needed to do to be liked by others, that’s what my family led me to believe anyway.
That insecurity came from wanting to be loved and trying to fit in with them.
But as much as I wanted to please them, I was never very good at hiding how I felt. I could never hide my emotions and I wore my heart on my sleeve, even though I was taught that was a sign of weakness.
I know my family would probably say I rebelled against everything they believed in, but I spent the first 35 years of my life trying to live up to their expectations emotionally.
I was trying to be what I thought they wanted me to be and believed deep down the person I truly was, was way too different to what they wanted.
Now I can truly say the people I was trying to please (my family) didn’t actually know who they were, and I wish I had believed in who I was more.
I've struggled and pushed myself relentlessly in a career that was more aligned with my human strengths than my soul strengths. I did that because I thought it would win me the validation and approval I desperately craved.
As I write this now, I feel ashamed that I allowed my family to emotionally abuse me for so many years.
I became a master people pleaser, able to adapt myself to the perceived expectations of those around me.
I still allowed a little bit of that rebel to appear, but only an acceptable amount, enough to know that side of me really wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
Up until my mid-thirties, I played small and dimmed my light, trying to fit in with people who didn’t see or appreciate the real me. I didn’t feel as though the world could or would accept the real me. But truthfully I didn’t even know who the real me was.
It wasn’t till my mid-forties that my body broke down, with my soul crying out for me to start getting to know who I truly was.
BEING YOU IS EXACTLY WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS
Don’t waste your energy worrying about what other people think of you.
Don’t allow society to determine how you co-existed with others.
Live your life being exactly who YOU were born to be.
The older you get the more you realise how important it is to be authentic in all areas of your life, not just with those who approve.
So embrace the messy unravelling that comes with owning your own thoughts and feelings.
Allow your authenticity to guide you to the deep issues that will undoubtedly span across your family’s lineage and create true change that’s needed for generations to come.
Cultivate genuine self-love.
Authenticity really does start with loving and accepting yourself unconditionally. Being so aligned with your own truth, that you’re completely unaffected by how people respond to you – you no longer see other peoples’ opinions or behaviours as a reflection of your own value.
When you’re no longer motivated by the approval of others, you’re finally free to express yourself freely and unapologetically.
Celebrate your uniqueness. Focus on the beauty and originality that you bring to the world by being yourself. Celebrate the wonderful person you are, and forgive yourself lovingly for the areas where you think you fall short. You’re only human after all. We all are. Embrace your imperfection and celebrate everything about you.
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and everyone else in your life is the choice to show up and be your true self.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. If you’re used to fitting in with the group or you don’t like to ‘rock the boat’, it can feel really uncomfortable expressing your true opinions or taking a stand to live in alignment with what feels true for you.
Just remember, there will always be people who love and appreciate what you have to say, and there will always be someone who dislikes it or despises it – and that’s OK.
But if you spend your life being fearful of being real, you’ll live in the shadows of your true self and miss out on the joy of true authenticity.
THE MAGIC HAPPENS OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
CALMING YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM DURING THE STRETCH
We all know being authentic should be easy and natural, but if you’ve been more of a people pleaser your entire life, switching to speaking your soul truth will probably stretch your nervous system.
It will feel uncomfortable, but do it for yourself.
What you’re doing is expanding your bandwidth and creating a new set point.
Showing your nervous system that this is the new safe, the new normal.
That way next time it won’t feel the need to protect you so fiercely.
What your body will try and do is find a way to convince you that it isn’t safe. This is by definition exactly what our nervous system is meant to do, it’s trying to protect you. But reassure your nervous system that you don’t need protecting.
You’ll probably have a thousand scenarios playing in your head of what people will say or think, but continue to remind yourself that your opinion truly counts, just as much as everyone else’s.
Accept that it will feel uncomfortable and that you’re worth the stretch.
And know that each time you express yourself freely that stretch will feel more natural until one day you don’t feel a stretch at all, simply pure alignment.
One of the simplest ways to calm our nervous system is deep intentional belly breathing with our lower abdomen to awaken our parasympathetic nervous system.
This is because of the vagus nerve, a major parasympathetic nerve that runs from the base of your head down your ear and throat and down to your abdominal and digestive organs.
Every time you breathe with your belly you activate your diaphragm and your vagus nerve which acts as an automatic chill pill.
Try this breathing technique whenever you’re feeling anxious about showing the real you.
I hope this has helped to encourage you to start sharing yourself with the world. Your authentic self is, after all, part of the change this planet is waiting for.
Creating a New Set Point for your Highest Frequency is the sixth and final pillar in my Liberate Your Lineage program.
If creating a new reality and being open to the infinite possibilities that await you, is something that interests you, please reach out for a chat. I offer free 30-minute discovery calls to help you feel into your next step.
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