Are You Open To Intimacy?
Being in a truly intimate relationship goes so much deeper than self-love and love for your partner.
It’s the pure essence of the two of your souls connecting.
It’s the combination of both your energies running through you and you taking the time to stop and worship at the altar of the heart of the one you love.
When two people are truly committed to building a sacred, intimate relationship, what they’re really committing to is an honest, self-loving, and radically authentic relationship with each other.
Intimacy is the most beautiful sacred journey.
It’s an erotic bond of the heart.
A sacred connection.
A union between two that can only be described as nonlinear and timeless.
It’s staring into each other’s eyes and being drawn into each other’s souls.
There’s a flow, and a desire to interrelate and connect both on a physical and soul level.
This sacred union needs to be honoured and cherished with such love and respect.
A truly committed relationship may look magical, but it’s really composed of tiny moments of choice presenting you with opportunities, to tell the truth, and live from an open honest space.
A healthy intimate relationship is feeling safe and supported and knowing that your needs matter to your partner, this helps us to relax and express ourselves freely and openly without fear of being judged.
It’s finding the courage to take responsibility.
Choosing to feel, rather than go numb.
Choosing to communicate about a broken promise rather than allowing it to brew within.
Choosing to support your partner as he or she goes through deep feelings.
Once these skills are practised and internalised, relationships flow effortlessly.
And when your nervous system learns to stay at a higher level of aliveness and doesn’t need to numb itself by lying, breaking promises, or hiding feelings, the real magic begins to flow.
This is when intimacy really blooms.
ALLOWING INTIMACY TO GROW THROUGH OUR CHALLENGES
Our most difficult relationships have the capacity to become our greatest teachers.
With humility and willingness to look deeper, we recognise that the hurt we experience acts as gateways for our own healing.
Healing our relationships can be difficult, but we need to move through the uncomfortableness and be courageous and compassionate with ourselves and our partner.
It’s not only how much you share with your partner or how often you talk to them, but your level of consciousness and self-awareness when you do.
So are you communicating openly and honestly, and having difficult conversations when required?
Are you being accountable for the energy you bring into the relationship and making sure you don’t use it as a dumping ground?
Are you taking responsibility for your own triggers and not expecting your partner to be responsible for past trauma which has nothing to do with them?
Are you communicating with kindness and respect, not saying words you can’t take back?
Are you honouring your partner’s space and making requests, not demands?
Are you communicating clearly with them what your needs are, and also asking about how you can honour their needs?
It’s not only about listening to what your partner tells you throughout the day but about really hearing what they are telling you.
Do you listen with the intent to reply, or to understand?
Are you taking time to hear what is beneath the words they’re sharing with you?
Can you hear the hurt, pain, frustration, and sadness below the surface?
Are you asking them how best you can support them in the moment, whether it be holding space, offering a solution, or giving your feedback?
Are you listening without interrupting, and not making their story about you?
This is conscious listening…
Unfortunately, few of us got to witness healthy relationships growing up, and we haven’t been shown the tools that are actually needed to build a truly intimate relationship: emotional regulation, nervous system awareness, open communication, vulnerability, and asking directly for our needs to be met.
BEING SEEN AND HEARD IN AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP
In a truly intimate loving relationship you’re not left guessing.
You both know how each other feels and you feel reassured and accepted.
This is something I have been truly blessed to embody recently.
Being seen, whether you’re male or female, is something we all long for, and when you’re being met with love and understanding your heart fully opens to experience a love that is pure magic.
When you’re with an empowered man he doesn´t need your instructions to get things done, plan and show up as a supportive partner, he understands and knows what he needs to do and he’s there for you unconditionally.
He knows how to commit to things that matter to him and you, how to sustain them, and how to claim what is his.
When you are with this type of man, getting back in touch with your femininity, learning to communicate your needs and wants in a calm, open, and inviting way will take your connection to the next level and open more space for intimacy, depth, and playfulness.
People condemn desire, lust, and chemistry when it’s completely natural and essential.
We are designed for that sexual connection.
We need to drop all expectations and judgement and instead have a mutual commitment, desire and devotion to your union.
If you’re following your desire as a way to avoid what is deeper, you won’t ever feel that soul connection.
Because there are layers to LOVE.
Primal love - the attraction, desire and natural need for it.
Receptive love - when it’s in response to an action or desire to give and receive love, it’s a transactional exchange in response to what each other is doing or saying at the moment.
Sacred Love - there’s a flow, a deep connection and a desire to interrelate and connect both on a physical and soul level.
Holy Love - when we surrender all preconceived ideas around love, we forgo agenda and control and choose benevolence and worship.
Each one is STUNNING and they all serve a purpose to forge a path to love, in ways where we feel safe to explore, be, play, and share a grounded soul existence.
Love, lust, desire, pleasure and chemistry when we’re connected to all these layers it is truly exquisite.
OPENING OURSELVES TO A CONSCIOUS INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP…
Is facing the reality that relationships aren't a fairy tale.
Takes work and commitment to ourselves and each other.
Is a beautiful place for moral growth and evolution.
The goal isn't to be 100% conscious.
Or to perfectly navigate each other's trauma.
Or to always be supportive.
We're human.
We fall into old patterns.
We have tantrums.
We hurt and disappoint each other.
This is part of life.
The goal is to learn how to trust ourselves, to learn how to let another person in, to trust another, and to accept the parts of ourselves we deny or suppress, so that we can accept parts of another.
It's through our relationships that we have an opportunity to heal our past.
All of this comes from knowing ourselves first and putting in the work as an individual before we try it as a couple.
When I started down the road of masculine and feminine energy, I never imagined I would be opening the door to a new relationship, but when we balance these energies within us we welcome them from others.
A conscious relationship that’s created purposefully, decisively, and with intention requires clarity and choice around how you want your relationship to feel, how you like to love and be loved, and what your boundaries and non-negotiables are.
Above all, it’s intentionally structured to support those needs and desires.
This is something I’m prepared to be open to, are you?
Marriages and relationships have changed dramatically throughout the last century.
What we want and expect from a relationship has grown infinitely more complex.
Modern relationships go beyond biological needs and into the realm of the emotional and spiritual:
We want to feel loved and cherished;
We want a partner to share life’s adventures with;
And we want our relationship to nurture and inspire us, to help us grow into our best selves and fulfil our highest potential;
All relationships have the potential to meet these needs. But a consciously loving relationship makes this a priority.
So make the time to switch off with each other, and be thankful for the life you share and the blessed connection you have.
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