Grief - The Parts We Unknowingly Hold On To
Before I even start I’d like to acknowledge that grief comes in many shapes. We may be grieving the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a relationship, or even the loss of a family we had always envisioned being part of, but were never lucky enough to have come true. There are many different situations that cause us to grieve.
Each one of these losses holds a deep pain that if ignored can scar our soul and leave us feeling broken.
As much as we may want to bottle it up and lock it away, grief is part of the human experience, and sharing and owning our vulnerability is part of allowing our authentic self to be seen.
When we experience something that causes us sadness, we may feel the urge to shut down and withdraw from life.
However, this is when I urge you to sit with yourself and open your heart to discover an even deeper connection you never knew existed.
You’ll realise connecting with your true self means you aren’t on your own even when you are.
The Universe speaks to us through many channels, and when we open ourselves up to receive its messages, we receive so much more.
Opening up in this way allows us to connect with the very core of our being. We bypass all our defences and prejudices and become truly one with everything. This is when our connection to other dimensions becomes possible.
When you reach this level of consciousness anything is possible, including connecting to souls that have passed from this world. This is how I still communicate with my family who have all passed on.
When life seems to crack the outer shell of our world, we are both raw and fresh at the same time.
It is then that we discover who we truly are.
SHARING YOUR GRIEF
As well as going within, it’s important to reach out to those trusted and precious people who care about us the most. These are the souls who are willing to walk beside us through life.
These are our soul family.
We have probably shared many lives together and have journeyed to this one to specifically help each other through a challenging experience that you have both signed up for. So honour that experience for the precious connection that it is.
You may also be surprised by someone that reaches out to you, they may not be the one you expected to see, but they may have been in your life for this very purpose.
Regardless, learn to trust in the Universe, in others, in your strength and resilience, and in the wisdom of life itself.
Sharing grief allows us to ease our burden by letting someone else help carry it. This helps us process our own inner thoughts and feelings through the filter of a trusted and beloved someone.
You may feel guilty or selfish as if you are unloading on someone who has their own challenges, but I can assure you that is not the case. We all have a well of compassion and empathy that allows us to draw from when those we love are in need.
Think about it, you know you would do the same for them, and their protests would seem pointless.
Remember that not sharing feelings with others denies them the opportunity to feel.
You may be the messenger sent by the Universe for their benefit, and it is on this mission that we have been sent.
By sharing our hopes and fears, joys and pains with another person, we accept the Universe's gifts of wisdom and loving care.
SHARING YOUR STORY
The grief and pain we carry are held in many layers beneath the surface. It’s not only what we can physically see. We need to read between the lines and look at the page without rose coloured glasses.
We need to express the raw unearthed feelings that we’ve never allowed ourselves to acknowledge.
We must fully see ourselves for who we are and the pain we carry for perhaps the first time. Like viewing black & white before technicolour came and re-touched all the imperfections.
It’s about sharing the part of you that you’ve repressed to allow your loved ones to live the colour you didn’t want them to live without.
As I look back over my life I can see that ;
Becoming a parent was the start of me blocking out the black & white to make sure my children were happy and safe.
I was determined the grief of my past wasn’t going to warp my children's lives, so I closed that chapter and started a new one.
Not allowing my children to see the pain I was holding was my way of protecting them.
My soul purpose was to create the most loving safe environment to make them feel like the sun rose and set for them. And the reason I did that was to save them from the same pain I felt, the same loneliness I felt from the loss of my sister and from being so entirely different from my family.
There are many reasons we block out our past but, no matter what the reason, ultimately the feeling is the same, loneliness and heartbreak. And for me, I was going to do everything in my power to keep my children from feeling that same pain.
The problem with repressing those feelings is, you never truly deal with them and you don’t give the cycle an opportunity to complete.
Unfortunately, later in life, you realise you may have saved your loved ones from the pain, but now you have to go back and experience all the pain and torment again to allow it to complete, only this time you need to be open to experiencing the pain through loving eyes.
So if you have suppressed your story to save others the pain you’ve experienced, when the time is right, share your story. Allow those you have loved and held for so long the opportunity to do the same for you.
SAYING GOODBYE TO LONELINESS
Living your life wholeheartedly with the passion of your soul guiding you is the best way to honour your life as well as your loved ones who have transitioned from this world.
Since becoming a soul practitioner and an end of life doula I have realised that death is simply another part of life.
As our souls complete their purpose on earth it’s the next natural form of evolution for them to transition to another dimension.
When we accept that our loved ones are no longer physically part of our everyday life, we can open our perception to a different form of communication.
By recognising that our connection is still there but in a different form, we can continue to share those moments with our loved ones through doing the things that light us up.
Allowing their shining light to inspire us brings joy to both of you. I still have many chuckles with my father as if he were right beside me and that’s because he is, only in his soul form, not human.
Their soul is still watching over us, so by living our life, we’re showing them that they’ll never be forgotten and you’ll always be connected.
By embodying our grief, it allows karmic cycles to complete and creates a bond that may not have been possible while they were still on this earth.
Creating this field allows us to see the energy like a tapestry of time consisting of intricate threads and fibres.
Each individual soul is a small square of tapestry on a much larger piece of work.
Each thread is a story that stretches back in time.
You can pull a thread and watch how it interrupts the flow right the way through the fabric.
You’re bringing all these threads of life back into your being.
These threads also form a much larger piece of the tapestry that includes our parents and ancestors as well as our descendants still to come. It stretches along time itself and is part of a much larger piece of tapestry.
The more you take the time to connect, the more you will see we are all part of an all-encompassing piece of art.
Explaining it this way makes it easy to see why they refer to time as ‘the fabric of time’.
The more we weave this energy, the more connected we become.
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