Ego Versus Authenticity
When you start down the path of ‘finding yourself’, sometimes you end up with more questions than you do answers. Which is exactly why I am raising the question of Ego versus Authentic Soul.
When you think of someone who comes from a place of ego, you may think of a person conceited, arrogant, self-absorbed who looks down on others.
However, ego comes in all shapes and sizes. In fact, everyone has one, it’s how you choose to interact with yours that can define who you are.
Acting as the observer will allow you to see whether you are allowing your ego or soul to guide you.
Our ego is our sense of self, the ‘idea’ we have about who we are.
It doesn’t matter if you are a religious person who sees yourself as always treating others with kindness or a hardworking businesswoman who sees herself as meeting goals and making money.
Both are acting as much from ego as the other, because both are operating from who they see themselves to be.
The problem is, when we become attached to who we THINK we are, and then try to convince others that this is who we are, we limit ourselves to just that.
Our ego is based on concepts and beliefs, not on anything real or tangible. It quite literally depends on our belief for its survival. So what happens when we stop believing in it?
When we start to become more in tune with our authentic self (which is the part of us that OBSERVES the ego, not the ego itself) we realise that a state of peace literally lies within us.
This peace transcends all concepts and ideas of who we think we should be.
The more a person becomes rooted in this part of themselves, the more they realise that everything they believed to be true about themselves, about others and about life in general, was all based on an illusion.
Our beliefs are quite literally creating limitations.
So how can we tell if we are operating from ego or from our authentic self?
Our authentic self cannot be offended.
It has no prior concept of what people should or shouldn’t do, therefore judgments of good and bad are not applicable. It literally sees and accepts things just as they are.
People operating from ego will be offended often by others, because they are living in the constructs of the way THEY think people SHOULD be versus, accepting people as they are.
IS YOUR EGO IN CONTROL AND JUDGING YOURSELF AND OTHERS?
The ego thrives on importance. The more clutched into their ego a person is, the more they will love to insert their opinion on every topic.
Since the ego depends on our belief in it for its survival, it comes up with labels to hide behind to enforce its legitimacy.
It may be anything from I’m funny, I’m shy, I’m strong, I’m weak, whatever it can make us believe about ourselves so that it can remain relevant.
When a person becomes attached to this label, our ego becomes angered and threatened by anyone or anything that challenges it.
When other people don’t validate our belief about who we are, the ego feels threatened.
The ego lives on judgments and comparisons. So, like we would a character in a movie, the ego tends to label people good or bad, or evil or good. Once it has attached itself to the labels, it becomes hard for the ego to see past anything else.
However, we’ve all done something in our lives that someone else could consider bad or evil, but does that mean that’s who we are for the rest of our lives? No.
When we operate from our authentic self, we see past character labels and instead see that everyone is operating from their own level of understanding.
We are all human, so trying to remove our ego is not possible, we can only become aware of it and at times laugh at what we recognise as our ego.
When we can simply observe it without judging it, we loosen its hold on us.
When we stop believing in everything our ego tells us, we realise that we in fact hold the key to our own limitations.
We become open and accepting to the world instead of prisoners and victims of our own minds.
THE IMPORTANCE OF RECOGNISING SOUL OVER EGO
When you allow your ego to be in charge of the directions you take, you begin to notice that nothing is ever enough, it always requires more.
Whereas, if your soul is guiding you, it fuels that spark within you. It’s your soul that brings you alive and helps you recognise your dreams and desires on your life journey.
Ego and soul will both lead you down a path, but only one will be authentically yours, born from deep within you, not created by the beliefs outside of you that society has pushed upon you.
So until you come back to the pure essence of your soul, the pain and separation between your soul's authentic self and your ego’s belief of who you’re meant to be, will be excruciating.
This unfortunately is when we feel numb and empty inside and we try to mask a sense of hopelessness through addictions, conditional relationships, and workaholism.
We’re taught to develop a sense of self, but not truly our own sense of self, one that society deems worthy, which is simultaneously developing an ego and pulling us away from our authentic essence of who we truly are: our Soul.
As a result of losing our soul, we begin experiencing symptoms of weakness, fatigue, depression, anxiety, and emptiness.
I know these symptoms all too well, because back in 2017 this was my reality, and even though it wasn’t through being self centered, I can now see how much ego ran me. I was a superwoman who could juggle everything and didn’t let people down. Wow what a label.
These labels tend to surface because we know something is missing from our lives, but many of us struggle to discover what exactly is missing.
This is when disconnection and disassociation becomes very real.
So how does the actual process of losing touch with our Soul happen, from a psychological point of view?
When we become disconnected from the root of who we are, an imbalance is created within our psyche.
This disconnection grows over time and can be intensified by traumatic circumstances that have a tendency to fragment our psyche.
This is when our shadow self is released from the control of the conscious mind.
Lingering in our unconscious mind, these parts of us long to be integrated and made conscious, and can resort to extreme measures to get our attention. Suicide, depression, self-destructive behaviours or sudden rage are all common ways of getting our attention.
The result is an increasing feeling of being alienated from self, life, and the divine oneness that we’re all craving.
5 WAYS TO HELP YOU RECOGNISE EGO FROM SOUL
One of the most tell-tale signs that the ego is in charge is a message of scarcity. The ego will always assume scarcity over abundance. That means instead of trusting in abundance, it will panic and try to control or manipulate the situation.
In contrast, your soul understands the true abundant nature of the Universe. It won’t freak out and try to micromanage things because it’s able to surrender and trust, knowing scarcity is just an illusion.
2. The ego will typically back up its choices with a long list of reasons why you should do it. The list of justifications is often logical and lengthy.
Conversely, your soul will give you just one answer. No further explanation or justification is needed when you know the right answer. It might seem confusing to listen to that one answer because it doesn’t come with all the justifications that the ego provides. But, know that your soul doesn’t need justification.
3. The ego absolutely LOVES to use things outside of itself to make us feel better. Like when fame, wealth, and popularity become our primary source of happiness. Unfortunately, all these external things can be taken away as quickly as they come, always leaving the ego wanting more.
In comparison, our soul doesn’t really care about those artificial pleasures. Your higher self knows the only real source of love comes from the inside. All that outside stuff is just fluff, not a primary source of happiness.
4. Your soul is eternal; she comes from a place of love and acceptance.
Conversely, your ego is often your inner mean girl: a voice of criticism and contempt. If you’re trying to convince yourself to do something because you’re stupid, fat, ugly, it’s a red flag that your ego has gained control.
Your soul might not be as obvious to recognise at first, but its message will be neutral and free from self-hatred.
5. The ego always assumes the world is an unsafe place and everyone and everything is out to get you.
Your soul always comes from a place of love and security. The focus will be on expressing yourself, not on gaining control of a situation.
So, in short, take the time to listen to the voices, niggles and nudges that your mind, body and soul are giving you. Your ego may be louder, but your soul will be genuine. Take the time to get to know all these different aspects of yourself. The more questions you ask yourself, the better equipped you will be.
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